Love Camp 7 (1969)

Directed by: Lee Frost

There's probably no film genre that is more sleazy than Nazisploitation, so of course I love the hell out of this genre. Not just because there's always lots of nudity and weird shit going on, you have the best bad guys you ever could have in a movie: the nazis! Just look at the Indiana Jones movies, the first one was great, the second shit, the third one the best and the fourth one was just a big snooze fest... one and three had nazis in them, nuff said! There are seldom grey areas when it comes to nazis, they are evil and they will do evil things.

When it comes to Nazisploitation movies Ilsa - She Wolf of the SS is probably the best known, but this one came 5 years before Ilsa became the baddie we all love to hate. This is the flick that set the standards for both Nazisploitation as well as regular W.I.P. movies and it's so god damn strange that this is such a boring turd of a movie...


It's hard to write about the plot as there aren't that much of it going on... But, I'll give it a try. Two female WAC officers, Linda Harman (Maria Lease) and Grace Freeman (Kathy Williams), are sent to infiltrate "Love Camp 7", a camp where jewish women are sent to pleasure german front line officers on leave. A female scientist has been sent to the camp and she still has information about jet fighters that the allies need to beat Adolf and his gang, so it's up to Grace and Linda to find the scientist and help her escape, or at least learn the secrets before getting the hell outta the camp themselves.

So, with the help of the french resistance (Wait a minute... the camp is located in Germany and it's the french resistance that is helping them?!?!?! What is this? The movie Top Secret???) Grace and Linda are caught and taken to the camp. They are subjected to a degrading welcome by the camp's commander (played by Bob Cresse - who apparently was a closet nazi, so this must have been the role of a lifetime for him), where they are first sprayed with water and then subjected to a very intimate examination by the camp's female doctor (who sports the most unconvincing scar on her face that I've ever seen).


The women are sent to their living barracks and there they find out that the scientist they are looking for have been sent to the Detention cell. So, it's up to Grace and Linda to find a way to get sent there as well... but, first we have a shit load of nudity, degradation, rape, nudity, violence, nudity and some nudity... Yep, that's pretty much it, really. I will spoil the ending of the movie though... the allies won the war.

Ugh, I usually don't care at all when a movie is obviously done on almost no budget at all, but in this one it's hard to not see it in every damn scene. You really don't get to see much of the camp, what you get to see are some small rooms with what looks like cement walls that could be just anything... I suspect that this movie cost less to make than what I got for my weekly pocket money when I was a kid as it reeks of being cheap. And it also reeks of extremely bad acting... there are times I wonder if I'm watching an old episode of Hogan's Heroes rather than an exploitation movie as there are some seriously bad german accents going on here. I half expect to see Colonel Klink walking into a scene most of the time...

If there's something a movie like this never should be it's boring, but god damn this is a boring movie... it's 90 minutes long, but at times it felt like the double and I even had to get through it in two takes as I just couldn't sit there for 90 straight minutes and watch this dreck. Even with all the nudity (and there's a lot of it) and all the sex scenes (which are beyond dull) this is a very tame movie, especially if you compare it to the rest of the movies in the genre it spawned. No, if you want to watch a Nazisploitation movie that has some class (um, if we can call it that) I rather think you should watch Ilsa - She Wolf of the SS than this one. And if you wanna see something even more over the top and sleazy you should check out the italian Nazisploitation movies that came in the latter half of the 70's. Now there we can talk about sleazy shit that's never boring! (I'll bring up a bunch of those movies later on in this blog as well)

I couldn't find any trailer for this flick, but that's probably for the best...

The Skull (1965)

Directed by: Freddie Francis

Even though Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing made a lot of movies together for Hammer Films my favorites are the ones that was made for other companies. Their best, in my opinion, is Horror Express, but this might just be my second favorite with the gruesome twosome that was Lee and Cushing. The Skull was made by Amicus and the more I watch the Amicus movies the more I feel that they were really up there with Hammer when it comes to making great atmospheric horror movies. I've always held Hammer as the best by far and then Amicus and Tigon and companies like that... nah, screw that, Amicus were just as good as Hammer and this movie is one of many proofs of that.

The DVD (released by Paramount / Legend Films) lacks when it comes to extras and this is not really a review of the DVD, but I just wish that they could drag Christopher Lee into a studio and have him record commentary tracks for every damn movie he's made while there's still time. Even though his part in this movie is pretty small (he's billed as a guest star) I would have loved to listen to him talk about the movie and his work with Peter Cushing... well, a guy can dream, can't he?


The film starts in the 1800's and a cemetary where a man is having a grave dug up and he hacks off the head of the corpse lying in that grave. He brings the head back home with him and into his bathroom where he strips it of its flesh, but moments later his mistress finds him drowned in his bathtub and the skull is sitting on a table facing the dead man.

We then jump circa 150 years into the present day (well, it was the present day when the movie was released) and at an auction we meet Dr. Christopher Maitland (Peter Cushing), an collector of occult stuff (and author of books dealing with the occult). Present at the auction is also Maitland's friend and fellow collector Sir Matthew Phillips (Christopher Lee), and when four small statues of different devils are up for bids they start a bidding war that ends when Phillips ups the price far beyond their worth. Maitland returns to his home where he is visited by Marco (Patrick Wymark), and unscrupulous antiques dealer. Marco has sold many things to Maitland in the past, but this time he feels he has some real good shit to sell him. Marco has brought with him a book, bound in human skin, that's about the life and death of the Marquis de Sade. Even though he at first doesn't seem that interested Maitland buys the book and is told that he will be offered something even greater the next evening...


The following evening Marco returns and this time he offers Maitland a skull, but it's just not any skull... it's the skull of the Marquis de Sade (the very same skull that was dug up in the beginning of the movie). Maitland doesn't jump on the chance of owning the skull of de Sade immediately though as Marco asks for too much money... that kind of cash needs some sleeping on. So, they decide that Maitland will come around Marco's place the next evening if he wants to buy the skull.

While visiting his friend Phillips, Maitland discovers that the skull was stolen from him and he really don't want it back. Phillips warns Maitland to buy it as it is an evil skull with powers to possess you during the first nights of the new moon... spooky stuff... Maitland returns back home where he later that night is visited by a couple of police men who are there to arrest him. They bring him to a strange house and a weirdo judge who forces him to play russian roulette before locking him up in a room that is filled with gas (this whole segment reminded me of the TV show The Prisoner for some reason, it has that strange weird feeling over it). And just then Maitland wakes up in a strange place he doesn't recognize... he's in the building Marco lives and when he enters Marco's apartment to talk about the skull he finds Marco dead. But, before calling the cops he finds the skull and hides it in an hallway closet.


Later on when the cops are gone he returns for the skull, and while taking it from it's hiding place he runs into the building's caretaker which he pushes down the stairs to his death. The skull is already slowly taking over Maitland, who then breaks into Phillips' house to steal one of the small statues from the auction in the beginning of the movie... When he returns back home the skull wants him to kill his wife, but Maitland refuses to do it making the skull to go after him instead...

This here is a great movie, and I wonder why the hell I had never watched it before... I always go back to the great atmospheric Hammer horrors, but this one almost felt more like an Hammer film than the Hammer films themselves. This is how it should be done! Peter Cushing holds up the entire movie on his shoulders and he does it so well, the last 20 minutes or so has almost no dialogue and still he manages to crank out such a great performance. Christopher Lee is in only three scenes, but he is still very important to the plot and as always he shines in his part. I didn't even think about how little screen time he had as this truly felt like an Cushing/Lee movie all the way.

Freddie Francis also shines as the director, his use of strange angles adds to the weirdness that comes from the skull's powers. His skull point of view cam is also superb. Everything about this film felt just perfect to me, the library/study where Maitland is working is one of those places you just feel you want to visit for real and just sit there and read through all of those books. The attention to detail is wonderful... and one thing that probably isn't so perfect from the filmmaker's point of view just made my day, when the skull is flying through the house at the end the strings holding it up are clearly visible and I just LOVE that! Today it would of course have been done by using CGI (and Cushing's and Lee's roles would probably have been played by stupid teens from a soap opera or something), but this is how it should be... more visible strings!!!

This is a truly great movie that you should rather be watching right now instead of reading this shitty so called review!

The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)

a.k.a. The Fearless Vampire Killers, or: Pardon Me, but Your Teeth are in My Neck / Dance of the Vampires
Directed by: Roman Polanski

Horror comedies can be tricky as usually they're either one or the other, if the movie is scary the so called comedy is often not that fun at all. And if they're funny they're pretty often not scary for one bit... The Fearless Vampire Killers is quite light on the horror, to be honest, but it IS damn funny. Maybe I'm a simpleton, but even the silly slapstick stuff made me laugh out loud at times (I had to rewatch the scene where the Hunchback, who works for Count von Krolock, kicks Polanski's character in the ass just to get his attention over and over as it's just such a stupid and hilarious moment in the movie... but, as I said, I might be a total simpleton for liking that kind of stuff). The two vampire killers of the title makes me think of Laurel and Hardy at times, so that'll give you an idea of some of the humor in this movie - not that it's like that all of the time, far from it.

I'm not a die hard fan of Polanski's movies, I do like Rosemary's Baby, Repulsion, The Tenant, Frantic and The Ninth Gate - but this is among my absolute favorite movies of all categories. There's something in this one that just clicks with me... maybe it's because it's a parody of the vampire movies of the time that I love so much, especially the Hammer vampire movies, and it works so well as a spoof movie. And holy crap, it's a beautiful movie if I ever saw one... the cinematography is mind blowing, just look at the outdoor scenes in the alps, the snow, the fairytale quality of the landscapes and the colors. It feels like an Hammer movie on steroids. And I just have to mention the score made by Krzysztof Komeda which is beautiful in a very haunting way.

Anyway, over to the movie...


We start with two vampire hunters, Professor Abronsius (Jack MacGowran) and his assistant Alfred (Roman Polanski), arriving in a small village somewhere in the Transylvanian mountains. They take residence in the village inn and it doesn't take them long to realize that there are vampires in the area (there's garlic hanging all over the inn). At the inn they meet the innkeeper's beautiful daughter, Sarah (Sharon Tate), who just loves to take baths (and I love that she loves taking them!) no matter whose bathtub she has to use. Alfred falls head over heel in love with her (who wouldn't? I just need to say a big FUCK YOU to the Manson Family for killing her... assholes!) and when she begs him to use his bathtub for a quick soak he of course lets her...


While spying through the keyhole to the bathroom he witness the local head vampire, Count von Krolock (Ferdy Mayne), come crashing through a ceiling window, attacking Sarah (well, he just has to nibble on her neck a little... and again, who wouldn't????) and then take off with her. Her father, Shagal (Alfie Bass), takes off after the Count trying to rescue his daughter, but ends up coming back frozen stiff and drained of all of his blood. And here is the most silly and mischievous vampire of the movie born... The Professor and Alfred decides that it's time to own up to the title Vampire Killers and takes off to find the Count's castle and put a stake through his heart.


They arrive at the castle and manage to get inside where they are immediately discovered by the Count's mute hunchback servant, Koukol (Terry Downes), and brought in front of the Count himself. Thanks to some lying, some bat talk and shameless self promotion from the Professor the two of them are invited to stay in the castle (the Count has an interest in bats himself, it seems...). After getting some rest the two vampire killers set out to find the Count's coffin (as he is "of no use during the day" they only have to stay clear of the hunchback servant) and after some acrobatics high up on the ledges of the castle walls they find the crypt where the Count is resting (with his quite feminine son by his side). The Professor get stuck in the tiny window that leads the to crypt and it's up to Alfred to take care of business... something he isn't able to do.

They need to come up with a new plan (and to get the Professor loose from that tiny damn window!), but on his way to free the Professor Alfred finds the lovely Sarah alive and well, taking a bath as usual. The plan is now to rescue Sarah and get the hell out of there! Which is not that easy as the vampires are planning a ball that same evening where Sarah will be presented as a new member of the slowly withering vampire clan. After a short encounter with the Count's son, Herbert (Ian Quarrier), who shows more than just a friendly interest in Alfred, the professor and Alfred are caught by the Count and locked out on a balcony where they will await their destiny of being turned into vampires themselves. The two bumbling vampire killers manage to escape and disguise themselves as vampires and infiltrate the ball, where they end up running off with Sarah in a horse drawn carriage. Sarah seems unusally cold, but who wouldn't in the middle of a cold winter?


If you're even the slightest interested in the Hammer vampire flicks of the late 60's and early 70's this is definitely a movie for you. Sure, this is more comedy than horror, but some of those Hammer films weren't that scary either ;-). I probably said it all in the beginning of this "review", but I'll say it again - this is one of those movies that just never fail to entertain. It's pretty damn funny, the vampires are just like vampires should be (not like the ones in the Twilight crap movies... and I'm bringing that shit up again here just because I've never seen any gayer vampire than the one in Twilight and here in this flick we have a gay vampire...) and we have a red headed Sharon Tate... hell, just that last thing would be enough for me to love a movie... again, fucking Manson Family!!!!!!!

The Haunted Palace (1963)

Directed by: Roger Corman

It's a true sign of exploitation film making when the title of a movie has nothing at all to do with the movie itself, but was used only to tag along on a successful movie series (the Corman Poe adaptions). When it comes to this movie it was the film company who went over Corman's head and used a Poe title just so they could sell it as one of his Poe movies. Because a Poe movie it definitely ain't... Even though the title "The Haunted Palace" comes from an Poe poem (and a small part of it is added to the very last seconds of the movie to justify the title), this is a Lovecraft adaption and nothing else. This is Roger Corman's version of "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward" and I gotta say that I wish he would have done more Lovecraft stories as this one is among the better of his movies. If you ask me, that is... (not that you did, but this is my blog so I'm telling ya! ;-)).

It's not the first time a movie is "based on a story by Edgar Allan Poe" without having anything to do with the story itself. The old Lugosi/Karloff movies "The Raven" and "The Black Cat" comes to mind... Great movies both of them, but there was really no need to use Poe's name on any of them.


Anyway, the movie starts in 1765 with the dastardly Joseph Curwen (played by Vincent Price) doing all he can to mate the women of Arkham with a monster he has in his cellar. This is probably a monster straight out of the Cthulhu mythos, but I can't say which one it is... looks like a green turd with four arms. The town people are suspicious of his doings and go to his place to kick his butt for being a warlock. Things go out of hand and Curwen is tied to a tree and burned like the man-witch he is... but before turning to ashes he curses the town (like any good old warlock/witch does just before dying in the flames) and promises to rise from the dead and torment the people of Arkham once again. Thems fighting words!


We then jump 110 years into the future (to 1875) and the Wards come to town. Charles Dexter (again played by Vincent Price) and his beautiful wife Anne (Debra Paget) have come to claim the "palace" he has inherited from his ancestor Joseph Curwen. Not only does Charles look exactly like his ancestor, so does all of the town people (a cheap way to save some bucks on actors). It doesn't take long though for Charles to start to act weird at their new home... all thanks to the spiffy painting of Curwen that hangs above the fire place. And soon Curwen is crawling his way back into the body of Charles Dexter Ward to act out his revenge on the town that burned him all those years ago. Some people do hold a grudge...

Even though this is not a real Poe movie, it's still part of those films (the others are: "House of Usher", "The Pit and the Pendulum", "Tales of Terror", "The Raven", The Masque of the Red Death", "The Tomb of Ligeia" and "The Premature Burial" (the only one of these movies that didn't star Vincent Price)) and this is my favorite of the lot. Vincent Price is as good as ever and here you get to see him both as the regular (and a little weak) Charles Dexter Ward and the evil Joseph Curwen and he shines in both parts. We also get to see good old Lon Chaney Jr doing a good job as the kind caretaker of the palace (which might be older than he looks, and maybe not as kind as he first appears).

Corman was the master of gothic horror in the 60's and here you get it all... foggy dark streets, sinister looking mutants, cheap painted back drops (that does add to the fairytale look of it all), warlocks raising the dead, a monster in the cellar, revenge from beyond the grave, the Necronomicon, and the mere mention of Cthulhu and Yog Sothoth is enough for me... Again, I really wish that Corman would have delved deeper into the world of Lovecraft and made some more adaptions as, even though this one isn't extremely faithful to the original text, I place this one up there together with "Re-Animator" and "From Beyond" as the best of the Lovecraft movies.